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About

Administrative policy writing by day and comedy writing by night, I make my living providing communication strategies for county government but for fun, I like to spice things up with a lot profanity and personal stories about the horrific crap I endure on a daily basis. I have received a handful of humor writing awards and am a contributing editor for cracked.com. Lettuce Be Clear chronicles the folly of my existence allowing me to share with the world the trials and tribulations of working retail, being licked by random strangers, and having my car dry-humped by hobos. Someday, I would love to publish something before the print world ceases to exist and we are all trapped in a digital inferno of techwizardry and gadetopoly. My greatest fears in life are ham, car washes (anything where I have to position my car on ramps “just so”) and Richard Lewis– because have you seen him lately? He looks like the Crypt Keeper.

So, thanks for stopping by and have yourself a fantastic day– may no one throw cheese at you.

 

Also, these views in no way reflect the views of my unnamed employer.

One Comment
  1. I’m absolutely loving your life experience stories! I may not ever find single shoes, but a homeless man once came up to me in the library and told me that I must be a prostitute because I had long hair. It was shoulder length.

    Keep it up!

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